Today I meditated on myself. This is what I saw:


I saw stone walls, a gargoyle, and that was the main scenery. Then came the forest, and I saw a lion walking through it, which I perceived as me. It definitely "felt" like me, and I felt like a lion.

Then, above it, I saw a red dragon. I've seen myself as a red dragon before, I believe.


Finally, I saw a wolf.

Then, sitting on a throne, was a Hindi goddess, whom I guessed was Durga, the Hindi mother goddess. She seemed to address the three, but at the same time, it felt like she was addressing me. Then, I asked why she was there. She pointed at the three. I asked her if the three were me. She just smiled and her eye gleamed.


When I went to touch the dragon, it seemed to either dissapear, as if it was dissapearing into me, like it was part of me, and I couldn't "touch" myself. Then when I touched the lion, it slowly faded, and when I touched the wolf, the wolf was the most solid. Enough that I could put my arms around it.


This is all I could pull from the "vision". Oddly I saw nothing remotely fae or elemental.




-FireSpark

Perhaps the more solid creature is the one you've had the connection with for the longest.
I was just thinking, and perhaps it is the fact that you feel most comfortable or most connected to the Wolf that makes it more 'real' to you? If that were so it would make sense that that would make it more solid in it's appearance.

It's odd that none are Fae when as you say, you have always thought of yourself as Fae of some kind, though of course there may be some Fae there that you just have not discovered yet.
But then lots of us think of ourselves one way and end with being shown that that which we have always thought is not reality.
Zygo began thinking of himself as a Dragon, and turned into a Pheonix somewhere in his journey. My friend Darke thought she was a Vampire, but it appears she was mistaken, and so she is searching again. I always thought of myself as one of the Fallen, but on the very good advice of a friend, I began counting my feet, and found four instead of two. It turns out I'm a Pegasus!
So it's not unusual.
Do you feel you may be a mixture of these creatures, or do you think they are just totems? And have you seen Durga before in your meditations?

I have never seen Durga before in meditations, however, I am very connected to all forms of the mother goddess; The Virgin Mary, Hera, Hathor, so needless to say, it's no surprise that I saw another form she takes.

A friend of mine recently explained some of this to me in a way that makes more sense than I originally thought, and that is I at first considered myself dragon, but it just didn't feel like me. It faded right away probably because it didn't stick. Then came lion, which is a maybe, and still feels a maybe, but ultimately, is not me, so he faded too. Why I initially saw myself as a lion in the meditation, I don't know. Anyway, the wolf was the one that stayed, so that is me. She also pointed out that I have considered myself a wolf therian (as well as something like fae) for a very long time, and stuck with it. That was why it was solid.


This DOES make a lot of sense to me, both what you said, and what she said.


Even so, I did not see myself as a fae in this meditation, no. I'm not sure why. Maybe what I am cannot be "seen"? I've always felt myself as something like a "force", generally invisible, except maybe sometimes a glowing light. Not your typical "spirit".





-FireSoark