To start. I'll say I don't even know if this is the right place. If it isn't. Mods feel free to move it the appropriate area.

I was asking is I've been learning the play the guitar a little bit and I am seeking my dad's approval cause he has played for a long time and he's pretty decent at it. I'm looking for him to get involved with me and such and actually participate and show some proudness in me. This isn't something he does very often at all. And I mean I'm not asking for like a well done every day. I would just like a "wow son, that's getting better. Keep at it!" Every once in a while. We went to a wedding for my cousin a while back and there was a kid messing around on a guitar there and my dad just went on and on about how good the kid was. Also, I asked him if he might bring his electric guitar home from where he plays at every Saturday. He didn't as I knew he wouldn't.(I play on an acoustic) Anyhow, my mom found out I was wanting to play on it which led to this big fight with my in the middle about him needing to bring his guitar home. I guess I'm pretty much just ranting about my problems with my family/life. Of course, they don't know about me being kin or anything and are humans so far as I know. So does anyone else ever have this issue? I just want someone to relate too I suppose. I probably shouldn't even be ranting about such matters. I normally keep this stuff to myself so I shall stop there before I spill all of my guts.

So yeah, if anyone has any words of advice or otherwise thoughts on this situation. Please share.

~Legitimize

I don't see a problem with you placing of the post legit and I can certainly see where you are going with it.
You would like some attention or rather to feel like what you are doing is important to your parents. The guitar playing would be a way of connecting with your Dad because it is obviously important to him too.
The only trouble is that it's not working out quite the way you hoped.
Just a thought ..Did you start playing in the first place to please your Dad or was it something you wanted to do just because you like it.
Personally I only ever take up things for myself and not for anyone else. If some one says something about it along the way then great but I didn't start doing it for that so it's incidental.

If you really want to show him what you can do perhaps the best way is to go when he's eating dinner or something and just play. Let him hear how good you are without having him put aside time to do so.
Parents often think they are more busy than they actually are but because they feel like the most important things right now are to: get to work, get shopping, mow the grass, walk the dog, watch the news,etc, etc, etc. you get left out. So to meet them half way and get to them when they are doing something incidental like eating or working on the car is the best way to get what you want, and not have them go screwy on you.
I know thats not how it should be and generally parents don't want it to be that way either really, but sometimes it just ends up being like that, so the best way to deal with it is to work round the problems not against them.


Zygo

Okay, I thought this would be where to post it but I wasn't sure. I started playing in the first place because I really enjoy it and I have always thought it would be cool to be able to play. The fact that the guitar is important to him as well is just like a bonus that I thought I might actually use to....dare I say it, spend some time with him. It's not that he's busy. If he is home then he's usually just sitting around watching TV or something. I've asked him to show me stuff sometimes and he just ends messing around on it himself and not showing me anything. So it's not like he's busy or anything. He just for some reason neglects to show any pride in me or anything. I have actually went in there and just started playing and he never says anything. My mom thinks that I'm really good. Perhaps even better than I actually am() but he just sits there and says nothing.

~Legitimize

Oh dear.
Legitimize I wish I knew what the answer was, I would use it myself if I did.
My father has never paid me the attention I wish he would. I tried my best to please him, make him notice me, make him take notice of me, approve of me. I tried ballet dancing lessons, and if you could see me you would know how ridiculous an idea that was! I went to bars, pubs, clubs and came home drunk, (NOT A GOOD IDEA - EVER!) I crashed his car and wrecked his greenhouse, (drove his car into his greenhouse) this was not one of my better ideas either. But apart from his genuine annoyance and anger he has never shown any noticable emotion over me.
In the end I had to admit defeat and live for me. Never an easy decision for a child to come to.

I moved out a few years ago and he didn't even notice I was gone until I went back for the Xmas holidays and he noticed there was one less place than usual these days for him to put his feet.
I love my dad, but I really think that life goes on around him mostly without him even noticing. He breaks his trance once a week to go to church on Sundays, but that's it.

I know this is of no help to you Legitimize. I know this is not your situation it is mine, but I wanted you to know that you are not the only person this kind of thing happens to. It also happened to me.
My post won't help you find a way to interact with your dad, but I hope it makes you feel less alone in this.
Hey it might not even help with that either, and I have just posted a load of my personal info for absolutely nothing, but I don't think we are the only people who have ever had parents who live around us and do not give us the credit we try so very hard most of our lives to deserve.

Good luck with your dad.

Well, Even if you didn't really help. It certainly is very nice to know that one is not alone in matters such as this. I have recently had a good friend listen to me rant about other stuff that was wrong and now I am doing much better. Friends are indeed good to lean on from time to time, and I'm very good to have this forum and all the people on it to turn to. People that can relate to me in pretty much every situation immaginable. It is really quiet something to have such an understanding group of people.

On a somewhat funnier/crazy note. Might I ask what made you crash his car into his greenhouse? I am sorry though that it seems I am not the only one that has to go through such things. I would gladly be the only one with this problem if it would make things better for everyone else. I guess I will just continue on with my guitar learning and one day he might recognize that I can actually relate to him in something and pay me some attention. Or if he doesn't. I will still know how to play the guitar, which is just cool by itself.

It yet again, is perfectly fine that you didn't help with my problem in the direct way. You instead helped in the in-direct way of letting me know I wasn't alone. Which is good help on it's own. Thank you. You have indeed helped me. Even if it was only in some small way.

Thanks again,
~Legitimize

I wish there was anything I could say that would help Legitimise.

I suppose really I only wanted to post to say that I had noticed your thread and even though I don't know what to say I wanted to say something.

Kind of, I hear you and I don't want to cross over the road and pass by pretending that I don't see you, so I will stop and say I am sorry.

I hope that makes sense?

Darkness.

Yes that does make perfect sense. Thank you Darkness.

~Legitimize

I think it is a shame that our peers make us feel this way, and I think it is a shame that we are conditioned from birth, by society and those in authority above us, to allow this to happen. Many times we are actually encouraged to seek approval whilst accepting at the same time that such approval will never be bestowed.

Please find a way to ensure that in the middle of all this seeking for approval you are doing that you do not lose yourself and your own sense of identity.
Please understand that I am not saying you will, I am saying it can and does happen to some, and is something that it is always worth being aware of.

Better days Legitimize.

Shade.

Yes, it is indeed wrong that society conditions people literally from the day they are born. They shape the way we grow up thinking and define how we go about our thought processes. It can make it especially difficult to survive for those of us who are born in a human family with no kin around. I just consider myself lucky that I made it out of that way of thinking. Kinship is stronger than society apparently.

I will most definitely make every attempt on my part to keep myself in tact and whole. Thank you for your words of kindness and for stopping to give me your word of warning.

~Legitimize

Well that is definitely the last time I complain about my parents being on my case about where I am and what I am doing, and insisting that we go places and do stuff together as a family.
Sometimes it's a pain, but they are always there. Sometimes they are there too much, but I now realise that it is so much better to have them interested than it probably is to have them not be.

Your post helped me Legitimize, thank you.

You are quiet welcome. I am always happy to help in any way I can.

~Legitimize

You are welcome Legitimize. I am glad you saw some kindness in my words.

I am aware that I do not always appear as kind as I might in my posts on this board.
It is never my intention to upset anyone, I just have an unfortunate habit of telling it like I see it, which often upsets or annoys others.
I could help myself by not saying the things I say but then I would not be helping anyone at all except myself.
I don't want to be liked especially, I just want to tell the truth as I see it, and hope that even if people hate the way I say things that someone will take away something from what I say that will help them in some way.

Shade.

I have to say I have no problems with my dad. It's my brother who shos no proudness in me. all I've heard from him is "I hate you" and when he's talking to someone and I say hi he'll be like "who are you?" and stuff. I'm going to join the army for a few years to become an astronaut. I might just stay in the army. If he was my dad thats how I'd get him to notice me. so that's how I'm going to get my bro to notice me. (DON'T DO THIS UNLESS YOU WANT TO!!!! I'm being stupid I know.)

Kiari

I don't think it's stupid to want to do something spectacular to get your family to take notice and get their approval.
Everyone does it at some point in their lives.

I hope you find an easier way to do it than that though Kiari, Astronauts have to spend a lot of time to qualify to do their jobs. It will take a long time.
I'm sure you can do it if that's what you really want, but I really hope you find a quicker and easier way.