I'm putting this in this section, because my answer derives from my wolf, but it's also a question for anyone.

I was wondering what you're thoughts/instinct is for relationships?

Ever since i was little, even if i had a crush on someone, i knew that when i loved i would love fully and it would only be to that one person. And, because i knew it would have to be an alpha, if they ever dropped to a beta my love would most likely change (because they wouldn't be who they used to be). What I mean to say is that when i find a mate I know that they will most likely be my life mate, and if they don't want me as a mate, that wouldn't change how i felt and i'd probably love them for the rest of my existence. I was just wondering if anyone else felt that way or if it's just me?
i'm wondering this because I am completely loyal when it comes to having a lover/boyfriend whatever. It doesn't cross my mind to copulate with another even if when i was single i'd think about it. And a lot of people i know, even if they said they were in love with someone but were just on a 'break' because one was away for a long time, would sleep with other people. I don't get that, i guess. so, yeah. am i the only one?

kat

I'm not sure if it's you I know that my realationships with people aren't great. Milton Keynes ask Donkeyman the way I treat people is almost...sociopathic. I wish I can help. (Donkeyman I don't kill people and you know that)

Wolfbrother

I cannot claim the one love for a lifetime as I have been married and for several reasons it didn't 'take'.
Perhaps in my eyes he lost his Alpha status? I don't know.

But I cannot imagine sleeping with anyone else whilst I believed myself in love with a 'special someone'.
To me if you love someone that means you keep yourself for that someone alone. If you want to sleep with others then to me that is not love. Either finish with them to sleep with another or do not sleep with another. But lying and cheating is not allowed.
If they love you too they will treat you with as much respect and honesty. If not then you should be with someone who does.
That is my philosophy of love. But it is not popular these days.
I am apparently old fashioned because I do not believe in 'open relationships', and partner exchange. To them this is freedom to love and exchange physical affection with someone who is not your partner. I don't get that because to me this is cheating. What else would it be?

So I think this means we feel the same way about relationships and love Katie. But I wonder if we're the only ones?

Lady C.

No, you aren't the only ones, I find myself in the same mind frame as both of yours. When I am in love, and when i do love, I love deep, and for as long as that person wants me, and loves me in return. If I love that person, I don't think about other females, nor do I try to get with other females either. You could say that I'm "old fashioned" as well in this aspect. I don't like the idea of "open relationships", I feel that they are disgusting, and well ridiculous as well. I'm a monogamous person, and always will be.

~DA~

Skeeve I know you don't.

Sleeping around is not only cruel and immoral it's also unsafe.
With so many STD around these days I would not risk my health for an hour in bed with anyone.

As for cheating on a lover or long term partner, that is for losers.
Never mind about love, if you don't respect them enough to stay monogomous then get out of the relationship.

Darkness.

I agree with all of you.
Cheating is cheating whether exam papers, -*test*-('")s, card games or relationships, and I believe that cheating is wrong.
I am not against having fun, but I don't think playing with other people's feelings and emotions can really be reguarded as fun.

I have known times in my life when I have been attracted to someone I could not fully say I liked as a person. I mean a lovely pair of eyes and a nice tush could turn any girl's head right?. But if I don't like them I would not sleep with them. Without respect for the kind of person they are there can be no chance of closeness and connection. And so for me any kind of relationship, however shallow, is impossible.

I think many of the members of the animal kingdom operate in a similar way.
Wolves especially.
Theri relationships are not based on looks or even love or liking. They are based on respect. Respect for their mate's position in the pack. And acknowledgement of how the other members of the pack respect him/her too. If they are well thought of by the rest of the pack they will rise within that pack. The greater the respect, the higher the position.
Respect is a strong motivator for many things in society, both theirs and ours.

If you do not respect the special someone in your life, then loyalty is easy to overlook, and straying is an easy thing to do. But without respect why would you want to be with them in the first place?


Moon.

I am not going to disagree with that.
I'm not in favour of 'open relationships'. I don't understand them either.
I'm not in a relationship and I'm not looking. But if I were I would be a one woman man.
I would expect her to want me to be faithful to her, and I'd ask her to be faithful to me.
That's a relationship.
I'm not sure what to call all the sharing and passing partners around.
Dangerous perhaps?
Cheap certainly.

DEA.

You are indeed not alone. I have never, ever, had a relationship because I was "Trying to get into someone's pants" or whatever lingo teens these days are using. I have only ever had 3 relation ships and my shor-*test*-('") was around the time span of two months. That was indeed a mistake. The longest, was four years. And my current, and I believe my last, is two years and getting older.

I believe so much this way that I have been asked if I am homosexual about three times this past week, and more times than I can count the past two months. Other teenagers at my school cannot seem to fathom having a relationship for more than a year. While I cannot fathom having a relationship for less than one.

I would never ask someone out unless I knew that it was going to be for a duration of time. And unless I knew that they liked me back and was willing to have something more than just the typical go out for a week and break up relationship.

Call me strange if you wish, but then. I find strange so much better than normal

So yes, You are not alone.
~Legitimize

Hmmmm, love is over-rated.
Many people use it as a kind of ownership, which stinks.
"This is MY girlfriend, and she loves ME!!"
But if you're going to be with someone for whatever reason then you should be with them.
I don't get involved romantically with anyone. My heart is mine, but even without love there has to be respect and loyalty.
And fidelity.

I think safety has to come into this somewhere too. It just isn't a good idea to sleep with people randomly these days. There are too many hideous things you can catch. Like pregnant. And that's not the worst one any more either.

No thanks. No ties, no love, no free love, no sharing, no swapping and definitely NO one night stands.

See, I don't refer to love as an interchangeable thing with sex or screwing around.

Just like I don't agree with teenagers now-a-days. All they can think about is whether or not they are going to "Get some".

I think the best way to go, is find someone that you love, and do things right. Build a relationship, and take things slow. Spend a couple of years getting to know each other, and move on to higher levels of relationships only when the two of you feel you are ready.

On the issue of safety. If you get one partner, and all she has is you, and all you have is her, and you love each other and have a strong relationship. Then it's not really a problem. A matter of trust really.

Plus, then, it's not "Getting some" anymore. If you have sex through an act of love then it becomes Making Love instead of (insert word for sex I cannot say because of language filter).

~Legitimize

Well that's why your post is your opinion and my post is mine.
Gosh aren't forums wonderful???
You can have your opinion, and I can have mine.

I don't see my world the way you see yours. I guess that's what makes it MY world!

You have your say and tell everyone what you think, then I have my say and comment on how I see things.
But can I ask you first did I say that I think you're tying yourself down far too young? Did I say that at your age, (and you're obviously a teenager), you should be seeing more of life before you find one 'special someone' to cling to, who will tie you down and stop you from experiencing many of the things life has to offer?
NO! I didn't.
I might think them but I don't say them.
Why? Because it's not my place to comment on your choices in your personal life.
I ACCEPT your right to make your choices. Because I'm a grown up.

You on the other hand for some reason seem to feel that you have the right to pick my personal life to pieces and question my choices.
You may want a relationship with love and ties, marriage and kids and a little house and a dead end job until you die. Honestly if that's what you want then fine. Go for it, if that will make you happy. You have as much right to be happy as anyone else.
But I don't want those things, and you have no right to imply that I am shallow, or that I 'screw around' as you so delightfully put it just because I don't want those things.

I don't appreciate your thoughts on my love life, and if I want to (that word you can't say because of the filters) then that's my business.

And even though it is none of your business:
I do not have one night stands. I do not sleep around and I have never had sex with anyone I do not respect and like. I see no problem with two adults enjoying each other in every way as long as they are responsible and practice sex in a safe and protected way.
I have a healthy attitude to sex. I am neither afraid of it nor ashamed of it, and I don't have to wrap it in LOVE in order to make it acceptable.

YUK!
You say this is trust and fidelity, love and companionship. I say it is ownership, jealousy, ties and restrictions.

For all of you out there looking for the love of a special someone I wish you all the joy and luck in the world. Truly I do. I hope you find the perfect one for you.

But if like me you just want to have some fun then here's my phone number.....#######


Just kidding Camille. ROFL

Shade, let me first state. I wasn't referring to you.

I was simply stating my views as I see them... I wasn't making referrences to me thinking you should do anything.

I never said I had the right to 'pick your personal life to pieces'. I wasn't 'picking your personal life to pieces.', nor would I want to 'pick your personal life to pieces.' So calm down.

You say you don't appreciate my thoughts on your love life. I wasn't stating any thoughts I have on your love life.

I was just further stating what my personal views were on the issues of sex and relationship.

I say again. I was not referring to anyone in particular.

On the basis that you thought that I was. I do apologize for not being more explanatory to avoid that mistake. Also, if you got that I was talking to 'you' because I used the word 'You'. I wasn't. I meant the person reading it. I used that pronoun to try to help any readers see where I was coming from in my attempt to explain my own personal views.

You say I have no right to imply that you are shallow. A) I wasn't. You have no right to assume I was implying that you are shallow.

If you are having a bad day then once more I apologize but you should not go jumping down my throat over something you think that I said.

I apologize once more for any confusion and say this. You should seriously calm down Shade.
~Legitimize

To be frank with you Legitimize, when you follow a post with another post of your own it can only appear to be a reply.
And it wasn't a very flattering image you painted with your reply either.
If I had been Shade I would not have been anywhere near as polite or tolerant.
Far from needing to calm down I think she did an admirable job of keeping her temper.
And instead of offering yet more unwanted advice I think you should consider that you got off lightly and keep quiet. If you are smart you will realise that you really do not want to bring any more attention to your ill thought words.

Shade, your life choices would not do for me. I think that a permanent, monogamous relationship is the way to go, but then that is me, and you seem to be very happy, and I am glad for you.

Jardinn.

I must agree with all of the above view, because I do agree with all of them. Though i must say, my own person views really lie more towards Shades views as well. Though I do want a stable, long term relationship, with someone I can devote myself to, and dote on for all my life. But well, the reality of it is, I'm not that kind of person, and I will never be. I've tried the long term relationship thing, and it doesn't work for my personal life either. My views on sex are that it should be fun, enjoyable, and safe as well. As long as you are safe, have some fun, enjoy it, and enjoy your time with the person that that you share yourself with. But -shrugs- My views differ, it all depends on what "personality" really is in control at the time. (if no one has noticed, I have a slight case of multiple personality disorder).

But anyways, just my views.

~DA~