Both you and Seraphyna spoke in your posts about you being grounded in your beliefs and us not being.
Could you explain to me what that means, and why it is so important for you to be so grounded?

It's just that I don't think I want to be grounded, I think I'd rather be connected.
Simply because if you are connected at least your spirit can still fly, if you're grounded then surely that's another way to say you're earthbound. That would be so sad for me.
But pehaps if you could explain it to me I could understand why it was so important.

Thanks.

Of course I can explain ^_^

By grounded in beliefs I think that'd probably mean looking more at the practical side of things. But I don't really know if I can see it as just that. I also don't believe I am grounded all the time. Although I do think it's good to be grounded as much as possible because it's helped me quite alot in life.

When I say i'm grounded it partly means I like to stay in touch with my humanity and how to integrate my otherkinity in with that. What I meant when I said that some of you are not grounded is that you are very free flowing with your ideas. (Not necessarily a bad thing)
Am I right in saying most people on this forum are more inclined to their otherkinity? From what i've seen i'd guess that some of you are more in touch with your otherkinity but that's really all I can say right now because i've only been on here for a few days.

I guess me and Sera think it's a good thing because we've seen alot of people who have let themselves get too caught up with being for example and elf that they'd rather be an 'elf princess' in the next life then try and apply the lessons of being an elf into the life they are living.
Actually the worst thing i've seen come from being too involved in being some sort of otherkin is one person who believed that as part of being what they were they had cured there partner of cystic fibrosis and had stopped her going to the doctors because of it. Because of this and other reasons I do like to ground myself because i'd never want to get to that extreme.

By being grounded I try to remember that I might be a dragon but right now i'm human and that's the side of me that most people will notice. So instead of considering just the dragon aspect of myself I integrate that within myself and become a human who happens to be a dragon. E.g. When my phantom limbs hurt my back the first thing I thought was 'actually this might be a back problem I need to have this checked out', when all was clear I was more accepting that they may be wings.....

Actually it's quite hard to describe. I guess this comes beck to the fact that I am not actually sure how I see myself- i've always found it hard to figure out how my otherkinity and humanity are both together and yet seperate... that's my personal conundrum.

I guess it also means that I try to look at my otherkinity as not just being spiritual but also maybe psychological. I know that scince i've awakened it's probably had an effect on my psychology and it might be possible that my psychology also had a part in me being otherkin. These are all things I like to consider.

I feel being grounded also helps me keep myself in check. I guess this is because I also consider grounding myself to be constatly re-affirming who exactly I am. So I will sit there for a while and really focus on myself (mainly my phantom body) and how that feels. Whether I really am who I think I am.

This is what they also do in meditation (which is where we probably use the term from, i do at least). At the end of a meditation most people are advised to 'ground' themselves which will usually involved doing something very mundane, day-to-day or human. This is because after such a long and spiritual trip (or wherever others go during meditation) you need to ground yourself in order to re-familiarise yourself with your body and self and who you actually are.

So being grounded can actually be coupled with being free flying. I'm not grounded all the time- when I put on my fox-skin for example, or when i'm meditating I do try and let myself go. But at the end I always find it quite comforting to be grounded. Because of this comfort it's always been a personal belief of mine that being grounded is something that is needed in life.

I remeber I once did a meditation and I didn't come out of the tunnel (It was a shaman meditation involving me going down into a tunnel) and then I just sat there and started shifting. Still not grounded I took my dog for a walk in the woods. The result was being stuck halfway between a really unpleasnt shift trying to figure out what exactly I had been shifting into. It wasn't really nice. So from a meditation stance it's pretty important to ground yourself.

I have seen someone who discovered the term otherkin so decided they were a unicorn, then thought they also like wolves, they don't like the sun like a vampire would, they enjoy music like an elf might etc. etc. and they literally ended up calling themselves a "wolf, griffin, elf, fae, vampire with a dash of unicorn".

As for the eartbound bit, it really depends how you look at it. There are certain situations where you need to be earth bound. For example when i'm sitting my exams it'd be really bad for me if I started shifting halfway through. To me some situations are best done from an entirely grounded stance.

Also when you think about it another way what's wrong with connecting with the earth. Soaring is good but the earth also has alot of knowledge, it sustains life and re-news it in a cycle very much like the life/rebirth one. So from a spiritual point of view grounding with it in that way in this life can only help.

What I guess i'm trying to say is that I see myself grounded in some ways and not in others. I also think it's improtant to have a bit of both elements in your life- grounded and free-flowing- depending on the situations at hand, kind of like a mix and match. Because of what i've said above I beleive that being grounded whilst approaching my otherkinity as a majority is proably the best approach for me at least.

I can also understand why you would prefer to take a more free-flowing approach to being yourself. It worked for Dali after all ^_~
I only have issues when that free-flow goes to far (like in some of the cases i've mentioned above).


I hope this helps.
Sorry for the loooong post.

I found you post very interesting Dragonslorefury. And I thank you for the information you gave.

I believe that elsewhere you have said that you are a Dragon inside your humanity, and you put your humanity first, and regard yourself as a human and then a Dragon?
Well I am an Elf inside my humanity. But I put my Elf first and my humanity comes second.
You and your friend Seraphyna said something like you believed that this time you may be a Dragon in a human body, but next time you may be a Dragon inside a chipmunk or something.
That is why the essence is most important to me. Because the outside could always be different but whatever the outside tells anyone the inside is always the same. The shell may be changeable or even interchangable but the Essence is a constant, unchanging thing. If you are a Dragon now in this life, you will be a Dragon in your next life too, even though the outside is a Chipmink.

In my 'lives' I am always born in a human body. There is no animal equivelent of an Elf. I have never wanted to be a princess, nor any member of the royal family.
I have trained as a Elf healer and a human nurse, and have given cures for scratches, burns, fleas for animals, I can set a broken bone in an emergency, and I can fix a splint. I can add a poultice to an infected wound to draw out the poison. All these things I can do and many more.
But I would always advise anyone to see a doctor. Even for the things I can help with, these days my cures are for simple things, and the rest will stop a problem getting worse until the person can get medical help.
I would never advise Crystal healing as the only treatment for Cancer, nor would I try to mend a broken bone by chanting over it.
I'm Otherkin, I'm not retarded.
And this kind of thing happens with humans too, especially the ones who get mixed up with faith healers or strong willed religious groups who think they can pray people better.
My essence may be Elf but my body is human, and as such it needs human medicine to make it well.
Just as my essence may feed on Universal energy, but my body needs food to keep it going.
I object most strongly to the idea that because I identify with my essence first that this makes me an airhead.
My human life is a very real thing to me, but I am not defined by it.
I am an Elf. But I do not wear a pixie cap and green tunic, I don't live in a tree and I don't have pointed ears. I have never had pointed ears!
I believe you said somewhere that you have been aware of your kinness for about 4 years now, and that you are 18?
Well I have been aware of my kinness since I was 16. Which means I have had 30 years of this. I have had a relationship and raised a child. I am a worker and I work hard. I contribute to my human community. I have had several jobs, and I pay my bills on time.
I assure you I am no child who suddenly thought "Oooh I'm so bored, I think I'll be an Elf!"

These people I feel could just be very mixed up, and being new to kinness may just be grasping at everything they like in order to give themselves something to be. Often with a little guidance they will come to narrow it down to perhaps one or two. I would rather put up with a pretender than turn away any newly awakening kin that may need help.
Though I am aware that some children find it amusing to poke fun at others. I'm afraid I find ridiculing them for your own amusement to be particularly low and really quite shameful.

There is nothing wrong with maintaining a connection to the Earth, it sustains us and provides, a home, food, shelter and everything else we could possibly need.
You need to keep a balance, kin need to soar too. Being too grounded gives a restless feeling to your spirit and often causes bad moods and feelings of stress. But at the end of your flight it is important to come back down to earth. This is after all where we belong.

Yes I do believe there needs to be a balance of both. Like I said for me it's about deciding what is real to me and not mostly and so far it's working for me at least.

I wouldn't say I identify with my humanity first and foremost it's just that I can't seperate myself from it at the moment, I don't trust past life memories that much and I cannot really percieve a furture as a dragon in anything else right now.

I do believe in reincarnation and that is part of who I am and yes I do believe no matter how many times I go through the cycle i'm still going to be a dragon. But as part of this I believe it's really important to enjoy what I am, leave the soaring for a little while and try and learn from who I am. That's why I have always loved the quote "We are not human beings on a spiritual journey, we are spiritual beings on a human one".

More towards 5-6 years now yes. I don't think you are a child who has just decided upon what they will be for fun. Although I have met many who have. I don't think you are an elven princess etc. I don't automatically associate otherkin with airhead and just because you put your elven side before your human side I don't think your an airhead. It's just I personally don't because I feel they're both connected and therefore can't really b e a side on their own.

I used those as extreme examples of why I personally have learnt that grounding yourself can be a very useful tool. That's what they are- Extreme. I didn't use those as a direct connection to any of you... it's more a connection to me and how I use them as a base for never getting that way. Just the way i've been taught really- I state something then I try and add in some examples to back up why I feel that way and then I go back to how I feel about it. I blame the college system. XP

As for the very mixed up person, I used her only as an example. Sadly she joined the forums and never posted so I couldn't guide her. When I do encounter kin who have decided who they are through others telling them I do generally try and guide them into considering what they feel they are instead of what others say they are. I'm a strong believer in letting someone discover who they are and giving them the methods instead of the end result, otherwise i'd be as bad as the person that told them what they are in the first place.

Actually along those lines i've had that done to me. When I came out of the 'kin closet to one of my wiccan friends he insisted that he already knew, that I was a black dragon who was evil, that we had fought in a past life and that he had killed me. He hoped there were no bad feelings and I said there weren't and hastily corrected him. By that time I was secure enough in myself to know that he couldn't tell me what I was, sadly that's not always the case for some.

I would say you seem pretty grounded in your healing techniqies, even though they may require you to be quite spiritually free you also maintain control and keep practicality as far as I can tell from what you have said. I know of only one active healer in person, she heals the horses at our stables, just aches and pains but she seems pretty dedicated. Just something I thought you'd be interested in.

But yes this thing does happen to non-kin as well. I knwo the term is used in paganism, wicca, magick etc. I'm also sure we've all heard of doing some work to 'get your mind of things' which can also involve grounding. Like I said I believe we all have to be both grounded and free flowing in all aspects of ourselves in balance.

I apologise if I made you feel uncomfortable or defensive Dragonslorefury.
I wasn't trying to make you justify your post.
It is hard when your beliefs have been attacked by someone not to feel like you must justify yourself to all.
I didn't say you thought of me as a child, or that you had hinted that you might in your post. That isn't what I think at all.
My post if taken at face value is simply my explanation of how I live my day to day life, and view my kinness amongst all the rest of the things I deal with every day.

Isn't it amazing how because of one incidence of intolerance both of us feel the need to back up what we say and explain each detail?
What a shame.

Well I thought some of my examples could have been taken wrong when I looked back so I thought i'd reassure you seeing as your beleifs are not even close to the extreme worries of my examples.

I found your post very interesting, it's nice when you have a topic that can be expanded upon by every member. Because lets face it grounding is such an open idea and its defined and approached differently by others. I can't wait for more posts =D.

I don't think it's because of intolerance that I back up what I say. I tend to generally over think things. I go away from a situation thme start thinking of what the other person my be thinking and how i've made them feel etc.etc.

Plus, like I said, I learnt my method of writing mainly from my education which will call what you say bull unless you can properly back up what you say as well as contradicting yourself and quotes you use etc. It's an annoying but handy writing method ^_^.

I don't have to make much of an effort to stay grounded, running this forum on a day to day basis keeps my feet pretty much firmly on the ground.

I think personally that your kin self must be connected to your human self on some level both when you are alive in it, and while you're between your incarnations, because if it wasn't you would not be able to remember past lives, and who you were, where you were and what you did.
I know many people don't believe in past life memories, but I've had too many myself to doubt it. Though of course that's just my opinion.

I had never heard that quote before, but it's very good.

Having kin parents makes kinness more real for me. There has not been a time in my life when I was not aware of what I was inside. It was just an accepted part of me, I never had to lie about it or hide it from my family.
Not all of my mother's people are kin, many of them are humans through and through. Though not quite your average human, being travellers by nature. It does make you very aware of society's perception of those who are in any way different though. Travellers and gypsies are not looked upon kindly by most of society, and in the days when my mother travelled with her family those who did offer friendship were in their turn often shunned for their kindness towards what was seen by some to be an unnacceptable member of their community.
Prejudice is an ugly thing wherever you encounter it.
My mother helps me keep a healthy balance in my life, she is a formidable force contained in a tiny body. That in itself requires a fine manipulation of balance, in order that her intellect and her free flying personality do not break away from their balancing human counterpart and run riot all over the house. The last time my mother got ill she was in bed for a week and so physically and mentally bored that once she felt well again she spent the next week tidying up and we still haven't found everything she put 'somewhere safe'.
A lack of equanimity is a dangerous thing. lol

I meditate every day twice a day, once just before I get up to awaken and refresh my spirit and I cleanse my shields ready for the day ahead.
I ground and center myself as I have always been taught, and then get up to dress.
On my way to bed the last thing I do is cleanse my aura of the day's dirt, thank the great spirit for a good day, and ask for guidance for the next day.
I'm not sure how much more grounded I can get than that.

I would never turn people away from whatever gives them comfort and if they believe that prayers or Crystals can help them feel better then I would say go for it. I have no degree in mental studies of any kind, and sometimes the brain can do amazing things. But I too would always advise seeing a doctor aswell as doing any of these things.
Even though I would rather lie down and /or meditate to rid myself of a headache than pop a pill, I too would see a doctor for a tumour.

That must have been an awful experience for you Dragonslorefury. Even if you were lucky enough to be at a point in your awakening where you knew yourself well enough to tell him that he was mistaken, things could have ended very differently. And it can't have been nice for you to know that he saw something like that about you, even if it was just a case of mistaken identity.
Your methods for helping kin to self awareness sound very much like the ones we have used here. More can be achieved by asking them the right questions than ever could by giving them them all the answers. Even if anyone could really tell what you are inside, which I do not believe, it is every persons right to feel the joy that comes with discovering who they really are, and I would never deny them that feeling.

This is the most I've thought about this in a very long time. Possibly too long actually. And this post is also becoming too long, so calling a halt now.

See you just gotta love a topic that can allow for some self evaluation. I love topics like this that make me really think about how I see/approach myself.

I agree that there is connection, for me it is right now pretty inseperable. That's not to say that I don't have some parts of my life that are otherkin and some that are more human orientated but there's no real separation for me.

I like to think of that as a amplification at appropriate times. For example when people talk to children they highten their voice and apply a more silly yet careful side of themselves. When I horse ride I focus on myself a a horse rider, then when I go back to school that amplification is instead replaced with a more academic one. I feel it can be the same with my otherkinity at times- when it's more appropriate is when I notice it the most. But it's never seperate from the rest of me, neither are any sides of myself. I hope that makes sense?

Thank you... I believe Pierre Teilhard de Chardin originally said it.

My parents aren't kin and don't know about me. My parents label anything occult like as something either to do with the devil or some sort of mental illness. But they just shrug my beliefs off and let me figure them out for myself (except for the fact that I was baptised). My mum is hevily dyslexic and it held her back her whole life so she always encouraged me to read and write stories. When I took an interest in art she encouraged my creativity and didn't mock those silly pictures that all children draw. They aren't exactly the most balanced thing in my life but they offer me help in trying to make myself balanced which can never be a bad thing.

It wasn't that awful actually. I love my friend to bits but he can.... exaggerate his-self alot depending on various things. It's not something I could or would change about him but it definetly does make you wary of his words. I'm just happy that I knew him and knew myself enough to know that he was 100% inaccurate. If it was someone else who was new to the concept themselves then I don't know how they would react to that sort of situation but i'm sure it wouldn't have been as breezy a reaction as mine.

Remember there are no long posts, just lazy readers
(except for really really really long posts XD )

So this is where I have to explain that I am as grounded as the next person?
Why is that?

I am as grounded as I personally believe I need to be.
I don't have to prove myself to anyone and so choose not to participate in this conversation.

I dont think dragonslore was saying we had to prove anything. how i read it she was just explaining her views on things. and what they meant when they said what they did. I'm sure she realizes that simply because we do not dwell on our human part in the place where we can be as kin as we want, doesn't mean we aren't grounded.

Be as grounded as you need to be, it's a personal thing and, like Katie said, I can only speak for myself.